A Gratitude List

1.Life on life's terms
2.God
3.Christmas
4.I did a loving thing for myself:  lit candles and took a nice warm bath.
5.I went to the gym even tho I didn't want to.
6.A beautiful day
7.Humor
8.Relaxation
9.Good, wholesome food to eat.
10.No candy in the house.
11.Safe travels
12.Restful sleep.
13.feeling energetic
14.feeling rested
15.not having regrets
16.feeling generous
17.an opportunity to give service
18.I accepted that there are certain people I choose not to interact with
19.I took communion.
20.feeling calm
21.No worries.
22.Having a plan.
23.meetings
24.writing poetry
25.friends
26.Raleigh
27.not having trigger foods around

29.reading with my
friend
30.marathons
31.candlelight
32.health
33.trying to do the next right thing
34.taking life on life's terms
35.the 10th.
36.people who love me
37.My mentor
38.The Internet
40.My accomplishments
41.12 Prayers
42.Movement
43.My God Box
44.Feelings
45.I'm supposed to feel this way
46.Not arguing
47.Questioning
48.A food plan
49.Prayer
50.Carol
51.Bea
52.Letting Go
53.Deep breaths
54.New carpet
55.God is with me and guiding me now
56.Progress
57.Hope
58.Faith
59.Still going to meetings
60.Writing Poetry
61.My Georgia friends
62.Prayer
63.Not giving up
64.Staying close to HP
65.Mimi
66.Summer memories
67.Courage
68.Trust
69.One day at a time
70.Courage that the answers will come
71.Getting the house ready
72.Getting myself ready
73.Being loved by someone
74.Loving someone
75.Asking God for what's the next right thing to do
76.Letting go
77.Getting through the party last night
78,Acting as if
79.Being cordial
80.Dressing up
81.Acceptance
82.My Brain
83.Rest
84.Belief that God has a plan
85.In time, I will know what it is
86.People who love me
87.Expressing love
88.Feeling my feelings
89.Going forward
90.Letting go of clutter
91.Space
92.A healthy breakfast
93.Singing a Christmas Carol even tho I didn't want to
94.The idea that frugality with food is the best gift I could give myself this Christmas.
95.not regretting the past
96.grateful for a new day
97.Being open to change
98.Getting things done.
99.Getting through it.
100.Being non-judgmental

A Gratitude List

 It's been said that keeping an attitude of gratitude is important.  Here's a list I composed several weeks ago:


1.Today I'm grateful that feelings are not facts.
2.For Prayer
3.That I have no pain
4.The idea of compassion.
5,I helped a friend.
6.I have something to look forward to tomorrow,
7.For Cari
8.My pharmacist
9.My doctor
10.for the phrase "this too shall pass."
11."Relax and take it easy."
12."God gave us a spirit of love, power, and a sound mind."
13.Deep breaths.
14.Dottie.
15.Cheryl.
16.A friend who was just released from the hospital.
17.Having a Higher Power.
18.12 step prayers.
19.A peaceful house.
20.Abstinence today.
21.Support from OA friends
22.My pink stocking cap.
23.Bea
24.Basmati rice.
25.Public Radio
26.Hot showers
27.Turning it over
28.For organic bananas
29.And apples
40.for forgiveness
41.my God box
42.for rain
43.clean
water
44.staying fully awake
45.saying thank you
46.for how it works
47.green tea
48.Sandy B.
49.working with others
50. 7 a.m. meeting
51.being non-judgemental
52.My Ipod
53.the Beatles
54.Dave Brubeck
55.my cat coming out of a fight nicely
56.the Modern Jazz Quartet
57.Pat Metheny
58.blue skies
59.music that moves me
60.Alberta Hunter
61.attending a serenity day retreat today
62.Chuck
63.my brother and sister in law
64.Mary Ann
65.Rita
66.Neill
67.Raleigh
68.my laptop
69.the Internet
70.a Higher Power
71.my prayers for love and tolerance for all
72.all of you out there
73.snow
74.forgiveness
75.Susan
76.slow dancing
77.being an incurable romantic
78.Brookline, MA
79.slow breathing
80.my Sunday school class
81.abstinence
82.the color pink
83.step 10
84.Chapel Hill
85.a safe drive
86.gas and oil in my car
87.believing that God will do what I cannot do for myself
88.what Jesus said about forgiveness
89.my blog
90.letting go of what others think about me
91.taking action
92.for God guiding me
93.having a flexible body
94.the Durham group
95.wanting a better life
96.the music and culture of Raleigh
97.feeling my feelings
98.an opportunity to see the Lincoln film today
99.a peaceful feeling in my soul
100.letting go of fear
101.the phrase "Into Action"

Staying Peaceful During the Holiday Season

Sometimes, the holiday season can be a time of "too much."  Too much food, too much drink, too much of material things.  I attended a workshop on how to stay peaceful during the holidays and came away with the following tips:

1. Take a plate of food but don't eat everything on it, and don't go back for seconds.
2.  Remember that there's no better gift to give yourself than a healthy and stress free holiday.
3.  "Get into others" rather than into the food and sugar.  Ask people how they are doing, what there plans are for the coming year.  Interview them.
4.  Refrain from foods that are problems for you:  sugar, junk food, chips, eating when you're not hungry.
5.  Refrain from "alcoholic" behaviors like arguing and being right.
6.  Remember that refraining from overindulgence will allow us to embrace a higher power.
7.  Discretion and recovery go hand in hand.
8.  Take telephone numbers.
9.   Call people.
10.  Don't internalize hurtful comments. 
11.Say the 4th step prayer:  "Dear God, I have a resentment towards a person that I want to be free of. So, I am asking you to give this person everything I want for myself. Help me to feel compassionate understanding and love for this person. I pray that they will receive everything they need. Thank you God for your help and strength with this resentment."  (BB, Freedom from Bondage:  552)
12. Help others.
13. Send cards.
12. Lead a meeting.
13. Make phone calls to people and tell them what they mean to you.
14. Feel your feelings.
15. Plan meals.
16. Name your feelings, claim them and release them to God.
17. Remember that "feelings are not facts."

Christmas Poem, 1991

A Christmas tradition

in our house every year

Was giving a poem

To a loved one so dear.

So with this in mind,

From the time you were six

I wrote a poem to you, what a trick!

Each poem captured memories

Of a great life together,

Especially in Alaska,

Where we had snowy weather.

The first Christmas we had,

You were just three months old,

The bright colored boxes,

Were a joy to behold.

The year you were two,

I knew you would like

The bright yellow color 

Of a Sesame Street trike.

A few years later,

I believe you were four,

You graduated to a 

"big daddy" by Lakeshore

(which you rode to Swan Lake and back!)

Compiling My Bucket List

See a Rolling Stones concert

ATTEND a Rolling Stones concert

Visit Sitka, Alaska during the Summer Music Festival

Go back to Paris

The Rolling Stones on Thanksgiving, 2012 by Dana Stone, November 25, 2012

 

              At my house we gathered

On Thanksgiving this year

For turkey and dressing

And goblets of cheer.

Pumpkin pies waited

For a nice touch of sweet,

I managed a sugarless

One for a treat.

John toasted a toast,

That was really quite smoothe,

Then together we four

Dug into the food.

With a Samba or two

Caressing the speakers,

Pretty soon we made haste,

To put on our sneakers.

For a walk on the Common

And onto the Square

We circled two times,

Before coming up for air.

Those marvelous Stones,

So thoughtful were they,

To keep the dogs leashed,

Lest they both bale and stray.

To the Best Western they all headed,

To spend a “quiet” night,

But the hallway noise

Gave Jack quite a fright.

The room was ok,

And not at all dusty.

But who would have thought

That the water would be rusty?

They checked out in haste,

And I would surmise,

That they headed for Lowe’s

For a big surprise!

For a new microwave,

And one that was stronger,

Than the old one of Dana’s,

That would last no longer.

Along with that present,

Came plants galore,

To beautify the yard,

And make a festive front door.

Azaleas were bought,

And bulbs, it’s quite clear,

That my yard will be blazing

With flowers next year.

John tidied the privotte,

After a nod and a nap,

With Sue’s expert guidance,

It was truly a snap!

A conical tree!

How they figured this out,

I really can’t see.

Their teamwork was keen,

and left me so blessed,

That I leveled and trimmed,

The remains of the rest!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

What Jesus Had to Say About Forgiveness

"But what about really bad repeat offenders?" Peter asked.  "What 

if someone keeps doing wrong?"  Is it our job to keep forgiving  

and forgiving?"

"Yes," Jesus said plainly.

"But how many times, Lord?"  Peter seemed exasperated.  "Shall I 

keep forgiving, even up to seven times?"

Jesus answered, "Not just seven times, but seventy times seven 

times!  If people are truly trying to repent each time and change

their lives, then you should forgive them, and work with them 

until they accomplish their goal."

(From The Children's Bible, Day by Day, 2005) 
  

"Welcome to Tarboro -- Your Electricity's Been Turned Off"

      

     When I returned from Paris last May, I was a little stunned to come into a warm house.  Not seeing the red digital light on the stove, I could only think:  “oh, shoot, I neglected to pay my utility bill before departing.”

     Before I could put down my purse, it was “off to the races,” and I immediately hopped in my car, and drove downtown to the Town Hall to check it out.

     There was a line of people waiting.  When it was my turn to be helped, I meekly explained that my electricity was off, that I had just gotten back from France the day before.  “Are you certain that I didn’t pay?  I could have sworn that I sent a check, before I left.”  The person at the counter turned to check her records.  “No, we didn’t receive anything.  And you’ve have problems before.  And you’ll need to pay a $300.00 deposit, due to your poor payment history.”  This was said within earshot of other people in line, whom, I suspected, were “guilty” of the same thing.  I looked sympathetically back at the line of people behind me.

     “But you don’t understand.  I was in FRANCE!”  This didn’t seem to register with her.  In fact, she seemed a little “hard-hearted.”  Couldn’t she have taken me aside and quietly explained the situation?  After being treated so wonderfully in France, I couldn’t believe that I was coming back to “my” sweet little town, to discover that my electricity had been turned off.  Just like that.

     Maybe she thought that if I could afford to go to Paris, I could certainly afford to pay my utilities bill.  So I explained, “It was a FREE trip.”  I hoped that would clear up any misunderstanding.  I wasn’t a “bon vivant” who could travel the world anytime I felt like it, just an ordinary woman with a simple life in a small town.

     “You have a poor history,” she said again.  There it was.  That word again.  Poor.  I took issue with that, thinking I’d always had air conditioning and heat, right?  I wasn’t sure how many times a person had to miss a utility payment in order to be considered having a “poor history.”  Just once, I decided.

     But hey, in Rocky Mount, they just add a missed payment to your next bill.  In Tarboro, however, they cut off your utilities, just like that.  In a heartbeat.

     Well, I sucked in my breath and went to the bank, withdrew the $300.00, and took it right back to the Town Hall.  There!  I’m in the clear!  Paid in full and then some!

     But the principle of the thing bothered me, so I wrote to Sam Noble.  My son and his daughter went to high school together.  I liked Sam.  I thought he was a good guy.  I emailed a summary of my situation, hoping he would be empathetic.  I couldn’t get that word out of my head, after being in France.  Couldn’t we negotiate on this?  It seemed a bit heartless to just cut off people’s electricity.  What if they were on oxygen.  What then?  (I found out that if a person is on oxygen, their electricity doesn’t get turned off.  What a relief!)

     Well, Sam wrote me back.  A long email, outlining my “poor” payment history.  In fact, he used the word “poor” three times.  To say the least, I felt worse after hearing back from Sam.  Having lived in Tarboro for 15 years, I hardly felt as if I had a “poor” history.  I wanted to fire a letter back to him.  Sam, how could you be so insensitive?  What kind of legacy do you want to leave here?  Where is the empathy?  The understanding?  I decided to go and see him, rather than firing back a letter.

     The visit was pleasant.  We chatted.  He was nice.  Engaging.  Understanding.  I mentioned my perception that his email to me was harsh.  And his explanation was perfectly acceptable.  It was just business, plain and simple.  The policy on utilities payments had been in place for decades.  It would probably never change.  One thing’s for certain, I have not been late since then on my utilities payment.  But, I still believe that people in public service should be more careful in their words, more discreet.  Because you know what?  It doesn’t cost anything to be nice, and it doesn’t take that long either.

     Just before Christmas, there was an article in the Daily Southerner about how a number of people had had their electricity turned off.  And how a “good Samaritan” had come forward to pay the bills of all these residents.  The story warmed my heart.

     Since then, I’ve found lots of empathy here.  In car repair shops, at church, at work, in class, on the walking trail I use.  Empathy is here.  You just have to look for it.

    

What We Need to Learn From the French

    

     Last year, I had the amazing good fortune to win an all expense paid trip to Paris.  I never really had Paris on my radar before, in spite of having visited other large European cities:  London, Oslo, Amsterdam, Brussels.

     My “first day” impressions centered  mostly around how clean Paris seemed to be for such a large city.  The air smelled fresh, even at the airport -- I didn’t notice any buses and transport vans spewing black smoke.  I wondered if this might be due to the use of biofuels.  I also had the equivalent of a “private tour” of Paris on the way to the hotel, thanks to a generous and good-natured Paris Shuttle driver, Kareem.  He delighted in pointing out every landmark on the way to the hotel:  the Ritz Hotel, the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower, the Opera House, the Invalides Musuem, and Napoleon’s statue.  I told him that I was jealous of him, for living in such a beautiful city.   He laughed, pleased at how happy I was to view the majesty of his native city.

     There were other wonderful memories – a sumptuous breakfast served every morning, side trips to Normandy and Giverney, daily walks to the Luxembourg Gardens, (only a 10 minute walk from my hotel), magnificent apartment houses with flowers cascading down wrought iron balconies, bakeries, boutiques, and flower shops, and the ever-constant flow of traffic and pedestrians.

     One would think that Paris, being one of the world’s largest cities, would be one of the most impatient, filled with rude shop keepers anxious to cash in on American dollars, and natives too preoccupied to be concerned about foreigners’ impressions of them.

     However, nothing could be further from the truth.  There is a reason Paris is the number one tourist destination in the world – it’s the hospitality that is shown to visitors.  Back in the 1970’s and early 80’s, Paris did have a bit of a rep for being rude.  However, President Mitterand changed all that with a massive campaign to make Paris more “Tourist Friendly.”  

     There is one other quality that stood out in my experience, and that was the empathy and nice manners of the French.  For example, I noticed a group of French business colleagues in the dining area of my hotel.  Turned out they worked for the same insurance agency in Brittany.  Meeting for breakfast, the women joining the group greeted each other with a kiss on each cheek, and the men shook hands.  Mind you, they probably see each other every day at work, but the fact that they took the time to greet each other this way was very pleasing to see.  I imagined that a group of American colleagues would offer cheery “good mornings”, “hi ya’s” and high five’s, and not this more formal type of greeting. 

     I noticed the same thing at the Paris airport.  Passing co-workers would take a few seconds to acknowledge one another with handshakes.  How very nice!   

     But even more impressive than the nice manners, was the quality of empathy that I experienced directly.  When I had trouble negotiating some steps at one of the D-Day sights in Normandy, there appeared a kind gentleman who noticed my hesitation.  He graciously offered his arm, while his understanding wife waited patiently for a moment. 

    Then there was the kind woman who helped me in a boutique as I struggled to get out the right change.  She smiled, understandingly, then said, “it’s difficult, no?”  She sensed my appreciation of her kindness, remarking, “that’s how we are – it’s the French compassion.”

     I thought about these experiences the other morning when I was at a Starbucks enjoying a coffee.  A group of the employees started complaining about how the cleaning crew had failed to properly tidy up the night before.  Their comments were audible to the 3 or 4 other customers trying to enjoy their food.  I finally got up and discreetly said something to the person I thought was the manager, but it didn’t do any good.  Oh well, I could just as well enjoy my coffee on the trip back to Tarboro.

     And then I thought about my Paris trip, and what we can learn from the French, just simple good manners, and empathy. 

     I hope to go back to Paris some day, but I probably won’t be visiting that Starbucks any time soon.

Brookline Reflections

    

I visited my son

and daughter-in-law

in Brookline.

October was a fine time

to visit them

in their new home,

a 1940's building

across from a rose garden.

The visit made me realize that 

I need to see my son as the adult 

man that he is,

And to detach myself from his idyllic

childhood in Alaska.

This realization alone 

was worth the visit...

So I accept...

my age, his age, his wife, their life,

and celebrate changes.

Haiku 2

Clouds of grey and white

Drift by silently tonight

Like waves on the sea.

Haiku 1 (c)

My little cat is napping

In a circle of sunlight

Chasing her dreams.

Christmas Poem -- 1991

Christmas Poem for Chris

(1991)

On this lovely Christmas Day,

I have so very much to say

To the special little boy,

Who has brought me so much joy.

But what I hold most dear

Is your help throughout the year.

So thanks from deep within my heart,

Because you certainly do your part,

In so many, many ways

To lighten and brighten our days.

And what are some of the things that you do?

Why, I’ll count them off, two by two.

You clean your room

With never a moan

You carry the groceries

With never a groan.

You’re a friend to your friends.

You share and help out.

You rise early for school,

With never a pout.

You play soccer each year

And root for the team.

Your attitude is sunny,

Your smile, a sunbeam.

Your mind is awash

With fun things to do.

Reading is one

That I love, too.

Your spirit is kind,

Your love fills the ocean.

When my friend died last fall,

You gave all your devotion.

You’re eight years old,

Full of energy and play,

And how I love to check out

How you’ve grown every day.

It’s Christmas time now,

And though we haven’t a lot,

You’re mostly concerned

With what others have not.

In this age of tv

Advertisements galore,

You are mostly concerned

With the plight of the poor.

No cries “gimme, gimme”

Do I hear from you, Chris

You have managed to capture

The true meaning of Christmas.

May we keep our concern

And the spread of good cheer

Alive throughout

The rest of the year.

And a long time from now

And of this I am glad,

You’re going to be

A very fine dad.

And I must confess,

To all I say:

Being part of a family

Is great everyday!

Three Minute Fiction

3 Minute Fiction

Mar. 25, 2012

     She closed the book, placed it on the table, and finally decided to walk through the door.  She knew that birthing this baby would not be easy, but as a rural mid-wife in Mississippi, she realized that the powerful qualities of clary sage would help ease the child out.

     The mother had already been in labor for 10 hours and had pushed for 5.  The baby’s heartbeat was starting to get more faint.   The mother was exhausted and the mid-wife feared for the safety of both mother and baby. 

       Confident that she held the answer to the woman’s agony in her hands, the mid-wife took a last look at the book “Clinical Aromatherapy for Pregnancy and Childbirth.”  Creating a potion of the ancient remedy, she carried it to the laboring woman, hopeful for a miracle.

The Offering

It was in France

last year, 

When a gentleman offered his arm

As I went down some stairs.

A strong arm --

To keep me from falling.

To keep me safe.

Later, I cried,

As I remembered that kindness.

Remembering Whitney

    

     While standing in the check-out line at the grocery store this afternoon, I found myself humming the first Whitney Houston song I remember hearing, “How Will I Know”:

“There's a boy I know
He's the one I dream of
Looks into my eyes
Takes me to the clouds above.

Ooh, I lose control
Can't seem to get enough
When I wake from dreaming
Tell me is it really love…

How will I know?
(Don't trust your feelings)
How will I know?

How will I know?
(Love can be deceiving)
How will I know?

How will I know if he really loves me,
I say a prayer with every heart beat
I fall in love whenever we meet
I'm asking you what you know about these things.

How will I know if he's thinking of me
I try to phone but I'm too shy
(Can't speak)
Falling in love is all bitter sweet
This love is strong why do I feel weak

Oh, wake me, I'm shaking,
Wish I had you near me now,
Said there's no mistaking,
What I feel is really love.

Oh tell me how will I know?
(Don't trust your feelings)
How will I know?

How will I know?
(Love can be deceiving)
How will I know…

If he loves me, if he loves me not
If he loves me, if he loves me not
If he loves me, if he loves me not

How will I know…

How will I know if he really loves me?
I say a prayer with every heart beat,
I fall in love whenever we meet,
I'm asking you 'cause you know about these things
How will I know…
(I'll fall in love)
How will I know?”

[From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/w/whitney-houston-lyrics/how-will-i-know-lyrics.html;  songwriters:  Shannon Rubicam; George Merill; Michael Walden]

     Early Sunday morning, when I first learned of Whitney Houston’s death, I immediately thought of the first time I’d ever heard her sing.  Rewind to 1985 in Sitka, Alaska, birthplace of my son, Christopher, and the best place I’ve ever lived.  On my lunch hour, I’d venture over to the Sheldon Jackson College gym, where about 75 men and women gathered for an aerobics class.  The music blared, and the instructor moved us rapidly through the paces, her voice audible above the pulsating music.  The singer belted out the words:  “How will I know… If he loves me, if he loves me not…How will I KNOW?”  With a plaintive, prolonged rise of an octave or two on “know.”  “Who is THAT?  You say her name is Whitney?  I’ve never heard of her.”  That song created energy in Lee Anderson’s aerobics class.  I still associate Whitney Houston with that first song of hers that I remember.

     In talking with friends about our sadness over her passing, I’m amazed at how many people recall the times and places when they listened to her music:  at the beach, at the prom, on the road, or just while growing up in the 80’s.  I just looked at the Youtube video for “How Will I Know,” and I was blown away by the staging of it:  balletic dancing, humor, kinetic energy, an artistic set, and of course, a very young, flirty, and fresh-faced Whitney.  I enjoyed the clever touch of showing Whitney looking up at a slide of her godmother, Aretha Franklin, as she sings:  “I’m askin’ you; ‘cause you know about these things.”  You can check out the video for yourselves here:   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3-hY-hlhBg&ob=av2n.  I DARE you not to move while listening to this song.  My gosh, it is addicting!  And that SAX!  I’m dancin’ and singin’ while it’s playing! 

     According to music industry records, the song “I Will Always Love You” by Dolly Parton was Whitney Houston’s most popular hit.  In this song, Whitney gets to showcase her 3 octave vocal range.  There’s a pause, a drumbeat, and her soaring voice plaintively singing “I will always love you” with that stratospherically high note on the word “you.”

     In reviewing Whitney’s body of work, I was amazed to see all that she accomplished in her life:  a concert in Central Park, singing the “Star Spangled Banner” at the Super Bowl while the Persian Gulf War was going on, and hundreds of awards and honors.  Most impressive, however, was the influence she had on other singers, like Mariah Carey, Jennifer Hudson, and Keke Palmer.  She allowed the fact that she had come from music royalty to take her to the limit.

     Take a moment to remember your favorite song by Whitney Houston, and perhaps this will ease the sting of her death somewhat.  One thing is for certain, her musical talent will burn brightly forever.

What We Need to Learn From the French

    

     Last year, I had the amazing good fortune to win an all expense paid trip to Paris.  I never really had Paris on my radar before, in spite of having visited other large European cities:  London, Oslo, Amsterdam, Brussels.

     My “first day” impressions centered  mostly around how clean Paris seemed to be for such a large city.  The air smelled fresh, even at the airport -- I didn’t notice any buses and transport vans spewing black smoke.  I wondered if this might be due to the use of biofuels.  I also had the equivalent of a “private tour” of Paris on the way to the hotel, thanks to a generous and good-natured Paris Shuttle driver, Kareem.  He delighted in pointing out every landmark on the way to the hotel:  the Ritz Hotel, the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower, the Opera House, the Invalides Musuem, and Napoleon’s statue.  I told him that I was jealous of him, for living in such a beautiful city.   He laughed, pleased at how happy I was to view the majesty of his native city.

     There were other wonderful memories – a sumptuous breakfast served every morning, side trips to Normandy and Giverney, daily walks to the Luxembourg Gardens, (only a 10 minute walk from my hotel), magnificent apartment houses with flowers cascading down wrought iron balconies, bakeries, boutiques, and flower shops, and the ever-constant flow of traffic and pedestrians.

     One would think that Paris, being one of the world’s largest cities, would be one of the most impatient, filled with rude shop keepers anxious to cash in on American dollars, and natives too preoccupied to be concerned about foreigners’ impressions of them.

     However, nothing could be further from the truth.  There is a reason Paris is the number one tourist destination in the world – it’s the hospitality that is shown to visitors.  Back in the 1970’s and early 80’s, Paris did have a bit of a rep for being rude.  However, President Mitterand changed all that with a massive campaign to make Paris more “Tourist Friendly.”  

     There is one other quality that stood out in my experience, and that was the empathy and nice manners of the French.  For example, I noticed a group of French business colleagues in the dining area of my hotel.  Turned out they worked for the same insurance agency in Brittany.  Meeting for breakfast, the women joining the group greeted each other with a kiss on each cheek, and the men shook hands.  Mind you, they probably see each other every day at work, but the fact that they took the time to greet each other this way was very pleasing to see.  I imagined that a group of American colleagues would offer cheery “good mornings”, “hi ya’s” and high five’s, and not this more formal type of greeting. 

     I noticed the same thing at the Paris airport.  Passing co-workers would take a few seconds to acknowledge one another with handshakes.  How very nice!   

     But even more impressive than the nice manners, was the quality of empathy that I experienced directly.  When I had trouble negotiating some steps at one of the D-Day sights in Normandy, there appeared a kind gentleman who noticed my hesitation.  He graciously offered his arm, while his understanding wife waited patiently for a moment. 

    Then there was the kind woman who helped me in a boutique as I struggled to get out the right change.  She smiled, understandingly, then said, “it’s difficult, no?”  She sensed my appreciation of her kindness, remarking, “that’s how we are – it’s the French compassion.”

     I thought about these experiences the other morning when I was at a Starbucks enjoying a coffee.  A group of the employees started complaining about how the cleaning crew had failed to properly tidy up the night before.  Their comments were audible to the 3 or 4 other customers trying to enjoy their food.  I finally got up and discreetly said something to the person I thought was the manager, but it didn’t do any good.  Oh well, I could just as well enjoy my coffee on the trip back to Tarboro.

     And then I thought about my Paris trip, and what we can learn from the French, just simple good manners, and empathy. 

     I hope to go back to Paris some day, but I probably won’t be visiting that Starbucks any time soon.