Thursday, May 22, 2014

What Remains

It's midnight now
and the move is over,
at least the first leg of it

Feeling extremely uncomfortable right now.
The furniture is stored 
and I'll sleep on the floor.
This house made up so much of my identity.
It was so comfortable

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Family History

     I came across this note I made some years back about my family's connection with the Civil War.
At a family reunion, I was told that the following are wonderful studies of my family's involvement with the Civil War, as well as the Scottish, Irish influence:

1.  History of the Bedford Light Artillery

2.  Annals of the Four Masters

3.  History of Ireland from the time of Christ

4.  Keating's History of Ireland

It's Not Too Late

It's Not Too Late

It's not too late
to try again
So I catch the train
that's going West.

What's best for me
is best for them
and I'll be seeing them again soon
and we'll be family again.

It's not to late to forgive again.
Just get on with it!
Just release, release,
and come back to earth.

Today's Meditation

"Believe that you can have the life you want.  Believe that you can have serenity, peace of mind, and freedom from fear.  Believe these things, and you will have them."

"Believing in something that seems impossible takes faith.  Faith requires that I do what works, no matter what.  We receive what we expect, so expect miracles, because we are all miracles."

(from Voices...for May 18)

My Year of Miracles

The move is happening soon.

To Durham and a downsized life.
I focus on the miracles,
not the mistakes.
There is no failure.

Just for today, I will be led by the spirit.

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Missing Annie

Seems like everywhere I turn,
there is a reminder of Annie,
Like finding the "Miracle Coat Cleaner"
under the sink, or
her silver food dish in the cupboard.
There are morsal of Ijams catfood around.
I loved the way she ate, taking her paw and scaping out
one pellet at a time.

I miss her night time playfulness.
and kissing her good night,
on the tip of her forehead,
oh what am I to do?
I need her back!

But it's good to not have her
during this move.
And I don't have to worry about
her roaming around in the yard.
Or being so cautious about opening
the back door.

She is probably enjoying her
new playmates.
Or sleeping.
I wonder if cats have
She loved to watch the bluebirds out the window,
casually turning her head to notice me in
the kitchen.

She will be fine,
and so will I.

Thursday, May 15, 2014

My Traumatized Cat

   I'm moving to Durham in a week, I found a new home for my cat, and torrential rains are coming down.  I miss her, the way she sat on the window sill and watched the bluebirds, the way she nuzzled me, comforted me when I was afraid, scrapped her food out of her bowl one by one with her paw, knocked my hand, causing me to spill the water, when I put down her water dish.  Her sweet meows, her huge green eyes, soft fur, soft paws, playfulness...A gorgeous animal, a calico.

   She's hissing at her new owner, refusing to come out from hiding behind the curtain.  Hearing this was like getting news of my five year old mis-behaving at school.  How out of character.  Something is bothering her.  Like maybe feeling abandoned.


I keep seeing butterflies!
And I'm grateful for hope, health, strength,
and a good book to read!
(written September 2, 2013)

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Safety Zone

The labor had started
long before the trip to the emergency room.

She gave one final push
before the delivery.
so hard,
that she forgot to breathe.
Then out he came, 
popping out, really,
like a cannon ball.

A sudden surprise of placenta and baby.
The hush was palpable...
he wasn't crying.
Not a sound.
She strained to hear.
but there was nothing,
just the anxious voice of the
doctor pleading,
"C'mon, little guy,

Friday, May 2, 2014

Making the Most of Regrets

    Today's quotation was by Thoreau and my mind was drawn to it.  Thoreau's advice to us is to: "Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend it and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest.  TO REGRET DEEPLY IS TO LIVE AFRESH."

     Yes, I have found myself regretting that I ever moved to Tarboro.  The painful memories of the library, the flood, the neighborhood, expecting things to change and knowing they never will.  Everyone's related.  The clubbiness, my disappointment over the church.

     Yes, I am doing the right thing by moving on.  Moving on.  Changing.  Looking forward to living afresh!

     What is there to look forward to in Durham?  Living near two great universities, for one thing.  Three, actually, as people tend to forget about NC Central.  I went to a concert there last Sunday that was sensational.  Jason soloed from Carman.

     Tomorrow I'm having a moving sale.  These things are usually disappointing as so few people come.  Then they don't want to give a decent price.  So I decided not to part with my cherished pieces.  I probably will keep the fondue dish I bought in Switzerland, even though I can't remember the last time I used it.  I do remember using it in Christiansburg, where I lived in the mid 70's.  It's so pretty!  Why would I want to give it away?  After all, I carried it all the way from Switzerland, it Virginia, Alaska, Tennessee, Georgia, and North Carolina.  I will try to baptize it again.  Maybe have Franklin Golden and family over to dip veggie slices.  Now that's an idea!

Here is a photo of the fondue...