Lee Miller

Model, artist, photographer, especially known for her war photography.

Her son, Anthony Penrose, administers her archive and that of Roland Penrose.

https://www.houseandgarden.co.uk/article/farley-house-lee-miller-roland-penrose

 

JENNIE JEROME CHURCHILL

I'm watching a captivating documentary on Jennie Jerome Churchill, the mother of Winston Churchill.  She was from America and had an aristocratic countenance.    Eventually, her father moved the family to England, where Jennie fell in love with Lord Churchill....tbc

EXERCISING TO AGE WELL ---READ THIS!!!!!

 

June 22, 2024

I am studying Dos Passos. who had a close relationship with Hemingway before it blew up.

Library in Maine associated with John Dos Passos.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ogunquit,_Maine#/media/File:Ogunquit_Public_Library.JPG

 Daycares Have Regulations --

Why Not Nursing Homes?

• Our country has an exploding population of older people.  And so does Canada.  I just watched a documentary on care homes in Canada which showed a wandering resident attacking another resident.  The gentleman who was attacked died several days later.  In that particular incident, the attacker was led away by a caregiver, while the injured resident was left behind, struggling to get up and return to his room on his own.  He died several days later.  He had been a policeman all of his life, protecting his community and being a good citizen.  Then, when he most needed it, there was no one to protect him.

       The following documentary illustrates the problem.   It's about a family's concern over their mother's care and they document several shocking instances of staff hitting and/or verbally abusing patients.  The documentary can be viewed here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gk5iEo-s_6M

           I became concerned about nursing home problems when I was molested by a male aide at the Tower Rehab in Raleigh.  I went to the facility to help me recover from a fall which broke my shoulder and caused several other injuries.  I honestly think that the molestation caused me as much, or more, emotional pain than the accident itself.   *******(see notes to detective, nurse, and law firm --- also problem of seeking justice.....................)

 

June 7, 2024

Tomorrow I'll be celebrating 75 years on the planet.  Hard for me, or anyone to believe.  These boots have stories to tell.

But first I need to think about healing...the broken shoulder is coming along and I'm glad I didn't have to have surgery.  Good medical team --

Neal, Kerstin, and Nicola.  Plus, Raleigh and Morrisville have beautiful facilities.  Grateful to be here.

Staying home for my B'day.  So much to do:  bills, exercises, rest, laundry, and cleaning.  A thought is to postpone my legal proceedings for three months, when I am "fully" healed, physically. Only did PT once this week.  It's intense and painful.  Will pick it up again tomorrow (Saturday).  Not asking for anything -- I have everything I need.  Grateful for my wonder friends in my gratitude group

I enjoyed watching Biden give his address from Normandy yesterday.   You did good, Joe!  But if Trump runs again, and especially if he wins, I'm outta here!  Canada, perhaps.

Wonder if there is a yoga class around here.  I'd like to attend one.

 

Currently reading

Carl Sandburg's Lincoln

According to one review:

"It picks up with the trip to Washington and goes to the end of 1863. Author Carl Sandberg does an excellent job of weaving Lincoln's story into that of his times. As the reader progresses through this book, he is taken to the White House, the battlefield, the home front and foreign countries. At times the narrative diverts into a study of military and political figures and scenes which affect, but do not directly involve, Lincoln himself. The transition is often so smooth that the reader barely notices that he has moved from Lincoln, to others and back again.''

In my opinion, this book reads like one long poem.  It is exquisite, and thoroughly researched.  There are plenty of "Lincolnisms" and my favorite concerns him whittling while waiting for the results of his election.  "Mary, I believe we have won!"

And his quotations are golden.  How about this one?

"If you think you're at the end if your rope, tie a knot and hang on."

GRATITUDE FOR JULY

 1.  Stagville

2.Unity Recovery in Philly

3.  Quinton

4.  dogs, especially. black mouth curs

5.  Beverly

GRATITUDE

1.  the blood moon

2.  my friend Bea

3.  my bro

4.  the Constitution

5.  lavender oil

6.  the Eiffel Tower

7.my poetry group

8.  Ireland

9.  hope

10. Emily Dickinson

11. Cape Cod

12. rain

13. friends

14. Erin

15. Emily Ruth

16. openness

17. Tia

18. opportunities

19.  ICA in Boston

20. Boston in general

21. Lennox the boxer

22. Adrienne

23. peach wine

24. tiny fans

25. Carolina Theatre

26. swimming pools

27. deep breaths

28. compassion

29. Conrad Neumann

30. the Otter software

31. ADF

32. forests

33. Unity

34. Netflix

35. Bennett Myers

36. Marriott Hotels

37. Toyotas

38. ceiling fans

39. Merce Cunningham

40. Black Mountain College

41. Asheville

42. air conditioning

43. Virginia

44. Beverly

45. Rosa Parks

47. John Lewis

48. Being retired

49. job opp at Nasher

50. new Nasher pullover

51. Earl Grey tea

52. getting credit card paid off

53. history

54. forests

55. my computer

56. 2 beautiful and healthy granddaughters

57. rain

58. slave narratives

59. soft cozy blankets

60. the forest elephant

61. taking it easy

62. 10 min. on elliptical

63. Duke gym

64. having no car payments

65. warm showers and baths

66. Judge Luttig from Dec. 6th hearing

67. C-span

67. "the music of that place"

68. Alaska

69. zen breathing

70. the Kennedys

71. NAMI

72. the f word

73. mindfulness

74. peach wine

75. being an extravert

76. independence

77. agency

78. walking

79. movie theaters

80. possibilities

81. brindle boxers

82. Tribeca

83. Steam Boat Springs

84. Durham Church

85. UU

86. massage

87. hyacinth

88. Laddie

89. archives

90. Goldens

91. Courthouses

92. energy

93. codgers

94. singing

95. U. S. medicine

96. a memorable birthday last week

97. enough money

98. enough food

99. being enough

100. Olivia and Sharon

 PANDEMIC CAUSED EXTENSIVE LEARNING LOSS

FOR NORTH CAROLINA STUDENTS

That is the headline for the Durham Herald for March 4, 2021.   The Pandemic affected all students, across the board.  All grades, across the board, negative impacts.  "For all grades,  almost every subject (Except English II), and especially for Math, Science, and Biology."

For economically disadvantaged students, and all other students, especially reading in grades 4, 6, 8, and 5.  Even AIG students were negatively impacted.  According to Michael Maher, DPI's executive director of the Office of Learning Recovery, "this is not on the backs of teachers, principals, or superintendents."

Since learning has been so disrupted over the past two years, schools across the country are striving to get students caught up.  Some of the issues that students have been grappling with are:  quarantine rules,

PAULI MURRAY -- LEGAL CAREER

THE WALLER CASE

https://www.aaihs.org/gender-civil-rights-and-the-case-of-odell-waller/

The Netflix documentary,"My Name is Pauli Murray," beautifully captures the life of Pauli Murray.  The film was released in 2022.

Friend to Eleanor Roosevelt and a lifelong activist, Murray 

 Jan. 13, 2022:  

DISCOVERIES!

2022!   Still adjusting to writing 22 and not a bit unhappy to see 21 fly. 

Currently obsessed with Hugh Mangum.  And his breath-taking photography.  Sarah Stacke's book is triumphant and I just discovered this blog by Elizabeth Avedon.  Wonder if she is Richard's daughter?

https://elizabethavedon.blogspot.com/2019/07/day-or-night-archive-of-hugh-mangum-by.html.

INSPIRED MUSIC

INSPIRED MUSIC

Beethovan's Ninth Symphony never ceases to inspire me.   Undoubtedly the greatest symphony ever composed, it uses Schiller's poem, "An die Freude" as its centerpiece:

"Joy, bright spark of divinity,

Daughter of Elysium,
Fire-inspired we tread
Within thy sanctuary.
Thy magic power re-unites
All that custom has divided,
All men become brothers,
Under the sway of thy gentle wings."

Also, anything by Telemann!

WHAT IN THE HELL HAPPENED TO WAYNE DYER?

 

WHAT IN THE HELL HAPPENED TO WAYNE DYER?

      I've had two of his books gathering dust for the past couple of years.  One is "Feeling Good", which is mostly about depression.  In fact, depression is mentioned constantly throughout the book.  Along with guilt.  A therapist recommended it to me and I bought 2 copies, one large print.  What a waste of money -- it feels good to unload them.

     Albert Ellis accused Dyer of plagerism in regard to Dyer's book, "Your Erroneous Zones."According to Ellis:

 that book is "the worst example" of plagiarism of Ellis' Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT).^[4] In a 1985 letter to Dyer, Ellis claims that Dyer had participated in a workshop Ellis gave on REBT before Dyer published his book, in which Dyer appeared to understand REBT very well. Ellis adds that "300 or more people have voluntarily told me... that [the book] was clearly derived from REBT." Dyer never apologized or expressed any sense of wrongdoing. Ellis admonishes Dyer for unethically and unprofessionally not giving Ellis credit as the book's primary source, but expressed overall gratitude for Dyer's work, writing: "Your Erroneous Zones is a good book, ... it has helped a great number of people, and ... it outlines the main principles of REBT quite well,... with great simplicity and clarity."^[5]

     I admire Ellis a lot and took his course in grad school and attended a conference where he was the keynote speaker.

     I had no idea that Wayne Dyer had died (2005).  Otherwise I would have avoided my salty language.

The 100 Things

 100 things I'm grateful for:

1.  I haven't fallen

2.  Chatted w/ Ed this am in MA

3.  Finally got my bed made up

4.  Watched a doc on the Harlem Hell fighters yesterday

5.  Asked for help w/ getting the docs in to archival sheets

6.  Durham Church

7.  All the great folks in my fam

8.  being a grandma

9.  indigenous cultures

10.Julie

11. Tofu in fridge to lessen the tendency to eat unhealthily

12.  Memories of Mimi

13.  Got a request out today

14.  Chat w/ John last Night

15.  That passage from the Beaumont Bull

16.  Andy's in Lisbon

17.  No calls or texts this morning - yay!

18. Beautiful apt.

19.  that's quiet and peaceful

20.  opening other angles to WW1 -- i.e. it failed, not the "war to end all wars" -- Daddy discussed this with John

21. De-colonization is a global term

22.  the public library here

23.  lots of energy today

24. not rushing

25. WW1 songs

26. getting my flu and booster shot next week

27.  20 breaths even tho I only got to 10

28.  Sangha tonight

29. Blythe's bf produced a film showing on uTube now

30. sorted thru some docs that are going to UVa, about JT Kincanon

31.  John Hope Franklin Center -- need to get there

32. memories of Dee

33.  feeling content

34.  off to the gym in 10 min.

35.  hitting the library tomorrow

36.  it's all about love

37. my strength

38. Apple support

39. Gaylord

40.  the Royal Albert Hall

41.  I didn't get Covid

42.  My hands feel strong today.

43.  Jackie Shelton Greene

44,  Renewed Netflix

45.  Watching Windsor now.  Description of the Prince of Wales, as the Princess Di or David Beckham of his day

46.  glad I got got the gym, if only for 15. min.

47.  thankful I got to see Q Elizabeth II when I did, on her "Silver Jubilee" == what a great memory, really, I'=m amazed that I did that!  Taking a bus to Wimbledon, Centre Court.  Virginia Wade was the only time a woman from Britain won Wimbledon! Wow...

48.  my son and the current Prince of Cambridge were born around the same time, special!

49.  I'll always be an admirer of Diana

50.  She changed the monarchy for ever.

51.  Glad we have Harry now.

52.  got to bed early tonite but then again, I feel like I'm "coming down with something"

53.  Grateful I stopped romanticizing WW1

54.  Daddy was let down afterward

55.  Maybe the process won't be so anxiety producing from now on.

56.   We're having a freeze here tonight...good time to stay cozy in bed.

57.  Spoke with new employees in the office.  One woman is from Iran.  Her family moved to Germany.

58.  Opened up the "big table" to work this morning

59.  I find winter soothing.  Leaves are falling.

60.  Over 300,000 Black people fought in WW1.

61.  I really think I should get another cat.  A dog is out of the question.

62.  Jack is 12 now.

63.  I'd still like to volunteer at Windsor

64.  Very lucky to have my brainy bro...he is like a rock

65.  The Windsor doc on Netflix now

66.  Spoke with Penny, a reference librarian at Small Library of UVa.  Lovely chat with her.  She went to Kent State for library school, has been at Small for about 8 years.  From Northern Ohio, knows about Wright-Patterson AFB.  The Base is in Fairborn, where I was born!

And where daddy worked volunteered during WW2.

67.  "Beauty from Ashes" -- I think I'll take that verse from the Bible as the title for my paper.  Isiah 61:3

68.  Got a refund for my credit card today.

69.  Hid scattered papers

70.  Listened to Telemann this morning

71.  got to the gym for the second day in a row

72.  gonna try to get down to Lilly Library tomorrow.

73.  Queen Elizabeth is doing a little better

74.  Her grandson, Prince William, aka the Duke of Cambridge, completed a project recently called "Earthshot," a take-off on Moonshot, the Apollo Mission.

75.  Coffee

76.  Multi-media, even if I don't know how to do it.

77.  Adequate light in my apt. for projects

78.  "Churchhill's Black Dog" -- on his depression

79.  My notebook of arthritis exercises

80.  The Arthritis Foundation and the work I've done for them

81.  Frederick Büchner.  -- the importance of being open

82.  NEDA

83.  My Fleetwood Mac tee-shirt

84.  Doobie Brothers

85.  Steely Dan

86.  Venice, the group

87.  "Rikki Don't Lose That Number"

88.  I just got 2 new books on documentary photography

89.  Telemann

90.  Africaans

91.  Tears for Fears -- loved them in the 80's and by god they are still performing

92.  An email from Alex today

93.  the desire to mail the old letters to UVA

94.  Gail Cooper, wonderful librarian at UVA

95.  Charlottesville

96.  the Wright Brothers

97.  Pumpkin pie for dinner

98.  Intuitive eating

99.  calm

100. deep breaths.

101. my Blackwatch blanket

CENTER FOR DOCUMENTARY STUDIES - Robert Pluma, instructor

 

CENTER FOR DOCUMENTARY STUDIES Robert Pluma, instructor

October 30, 2021 - Robert Capa

Capa was a Hungarian Jew born in 1913, who became the most renowned war photographer.  His most famous shot, called "Falling Soldier," was taken at the beginning of the Spanish Civil War.  There is some controversy about the photo, as some critics believe it was staged, which I believe is nonsense.  

Capa stated that he was in a trench at the time and held the camera above his head.  He wasn't even sure what he had taken.  However, the photograph has become an enduring image of war.

"Capa" means shark in Hungarian and was the name of the street where Robert Capa grew up. His real name was Andre Friedman.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMDkvJRHaNM  ("Falling Soldier")

credit:  Met Museum, Web Archive

There is another photograph/film (almost) equally as famous as Capa's, which was taken on 911.  It is called "The Falling Man" and was filmed by Richard Drew.  It was a front page image in newspapers around the world.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMDkvJRHaNM ("The Falling Man")

credit: Time Magazine

Robert Capa moved to Berlin in 1930.  He fell in love with Gerda Taro (real name:  Gerta Pohorylle) who became his professional partner.  They published their photography under the name pen name "Robert Capa."

October 30, 2021 :"On Becoming a Bad Ass" (again)

I'll have to admit that the CDS course is more difficult than I had imagined. That's probably due to my tendency to procrastinate, because the subject matter makes me feel a bit anxious.  And I'm a bit of a techno-phobe.   I hated doing the spreadsheet.  But got it started.  It will be cool to be able to search for a particular photo, maybe I'll even fall in love with spreadsheets.  As Erin said "I love me a good spreadsheet."  She loves my cussin.'  It is, frankly, a great outlet.  You cannot hold it in.

Now, why do humans procrastinate? Personally, I think it might be due to fear of failure.  Dan Ariely of Duke gave some short videos on this topic.  Here's an idea, give yourself a deadline.  Then, reward yourself.

Ok, I can do this.  I can set a timer for 30 min.  My reward will be exercise, so I'll be "killing two birds with one stone."  

I can also tell my self doubt to fuck off.  I've done really hard projects in the past, abeit  20 years ago.  And they turned out well.  Like the Library of Congress project and the Master Trainer one.

Starting the timer now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23yQR0V0cq4 (I'll Stop Procrastinating Tomorrow w/ Dan Ariely)

The value of knowing:  I must say, I'm awfully glad I invested in Audible a couple of years ago.  At the moment I'm listening to an eyewitness account.   Arthur Lee Gould was a British pilot during World War 1.  My favorite part so far comes in chapter 5, where Lee describes what he is wearing, including silk under gloves.  Not least of his attire is his "Sam Brown" belt.  Brother John explained the Sam Brown and our father is wearing one in his photograph.

I hadn't realized that Brits wore Sam Brownes also --- till listening to "Open Cockpit".  The author describers the challenge of taking a pee while fiddling with the belt and buttons and "obstinate underclothes" and using a funnel (chapter 5 at 15:10).  But gather the biggest challenge was trying to stay warm in the open cockpit. 

November 1 2021

Just spoke with Holly and she gave me some good advice with tech issues and agreed to be my collaborator with the CDS project.  She's been interested in the project all along.  Here is another collaborator, my brother, John.  

Nov. 4, 2021. Spoke with Penny, a reference librarian at Small Library of UVa.  Lovely chat with her.  She went to Kent State for library school, has been at Small for about 8 years.  Since I spent a significant portion of my life as a librarian, this interested me.  From Northern Ohio, Penny knew about Wright-Patterson AFB.  The Base is in Fairborn, where I was born!

And where daddy worked /volunteered during WW2.

Penny referred me to Molly Swartzburg, archivist at Small...I need to talk with her b/c there are some special things to consider when mailing archives.

CALL MOLLY!

November 8, 2021 -

What is it about Telemann?  First of all, he's from the Baroque Era.

He was incredibly prolific, self taught, played a lot of different instruments.  Very calming music.

-----------------------------------------

POSSIBLE Titles:  The Sorrow and the Beauty. Beauty from Ashes.

THE VILE  ? AND THE SPLENDID

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November 10, 2021

SHIPWRECK explore this and look up "Rise Again", the song

https://www.accuweather.com/en/weather-news/edmund-fitzgerald-wreck-lake-superior/846814

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November 10, 2021

Anxiety:  

Today is November 10 and tomorrow is armistice day, or Remembrance Day as it’s referred to in Europe.

I experienced a lot of anxiety today due to pain from the Covid shot, as well as arthritis .  Anxiety is an Absolute Bitch. It’s probably more intense today because of the 2 cups of coffee I drank.   But in my opinion, a nice hot cup of coffee with my favorite sweetener is just so damn good!

Anxiety is a problem for me all of the time which is why I take an anti-anxiety med and have done so for 20 years or more.  Anxiety became more pronounced for me during the Covid pandemic. Also trumps shenanigans and untruths about the virus, i.e., saying things like it’s just like the flu, we’ve got it under control, And this asshole so misled our country.  

The CDS project has also caused anxiety, ie, Will my project be good enough, which is kind of surprising considering how enthusiastic I was when I signed up for it. The subject matter, war, my father, my family, causes me anxiety.  World War 1, so much suffering then.  and daddy's plane crash ---which led to his having what we refer to today as PTSD.  Then it was called psycho-neuristhentia...That term is no longer used.  Way outdated!!!

A lot of my anxiety is related to what happened About three years ago... I had to have a knee replacement, my third, because an infection had developed in the implant. I couldn’t get in to see my surgeon and actually got the short shrift from him ----but after about six months of suffering, I finally did get in to see him and at that point I decided to get a different surgeon, And to hell with DUKE medicine. I did however end up with a really gifted and skilled surgeon from Duke who rose to the challenge. He knew what I had been through and showed a lot of compassion, plus he’s funny, and really handsome -- which didn’t hurt. He was honest, explaining that he could not guarantee a successful outcome (meaning a knee that would BEND) -- but the outcome was indeed successful and a year later, I attended a weeklong dance workshop in Connecticut. 

In 2020, my car was stolen, which was pretty traumatic.  So I’m without wheels, and because I love socializing and special events. I began to feel isolated and depressed.

This little kitty:  https://www.petfinder.com/cat/mummy-53536475/il/mokena/naws-humane-society-il391/

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November 11, 2021 Armistice Day

Meditative Music, =Chanting

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0j4yTY_eGI&list=RDS0j4yTY_eGI&start_radio=1&rv=S0j4yTY_eGI&t=8609

Armistice Day in Europe 

Not the war to end all wars....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0j4yTY_eGI&list=RDS0j4yTY_eGI&start_radio=1&rv=S0j4yTY_eGI&t=8609

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November 12, 2021

Day after Veterans' Day.  I had an idea to visit/volunteer at the VA Hospital in Durham.  Will have to check that out, as they may not be allowing volunteers now b/c of the pandemic.

Made a new friend today, Kingsley.  He's in med school studying radiology.  I told him about my project and he related how he too had studied WW1 poets, and was touched by their beautiful style of writing.  We traded phone numbers and he was sympathetic toward my getting my car stolen last year.  Very recently, it has really started to wear on me.   I love Toyotas and Fiats.  Don't know if Fiats are any good, really, but they sure are cute!

November 15, 2021

First, five things I'm grateful for:  my bro, Holly, Erin, nearing the end of my paper, good food to eat today!  Also, a beautiful spot outside to collect my thoughts and relax, even in the cold. 

Also, lest I forget: cheap (but good) wine, a yummy dinner, a desire to visit France when the time is right.  Issodoun is high on my list!!!  Every year, they honor the men and women who trained there during WW1.  They constructed a memorial, and have a ceremony on Armistice Day (called Remembrance Day over there).

I am fucking tired.  Time to "take five" and chill a bit.

November 21, 2021

Finished my paper -- it's about 10 pages.  I'm satisfied and relieved.  Still need to add photos.

For future success and satisfaction with writing,

I need to:

Learn Microsoft better

Take a tutorial on iMovie

Learn Excel (library has classes)

Had an idea to use iMovie for my CDS class

Install a new keyboard

Go to Frontier and work.  it's too distracting in the apartment.  or Lily Library would be great.

Get a mouse.

Set my alarm to wake up earlier...DONE!

Jan. 13, 2022:  

DISCOVERIES!

2022!   Still adjusting to writing 2022 and not a bit unhappy to see 21 fly by.  

Currently obsessed with Hugh Mangum.  And his breath-taking photography.  Sarah Stacke's book is triumphant and I just discovered this blog by Elizabeth Avedon.  Wonder if she is Richard's daughter?

https://elizabethavedon.blogspot.com/2019/07/day-or-night-archive-of-hugh-mangum-by.html.

Feb. 21, 2022

Feeling a little blue today b/c of a death in my extended family.  George Keplsey, age 93, former editor and reporter for the Roanoke Times, for like 50 years.  Sent my essay on "WW1 coming to Southwestern Virginia" to his journal.  Here is his obit:

Obituary

PRINT

Our father, George Andrew Kegley of Roanoke, Virginia, passed away in his sleep on Wednesday, February 16, 2022, at Lewis Gale Hospital after a brief illness.

He lived 93 exceptional years, through his writing for the Roanoke Times for 44 years, historical and church publications, and most importantly, volunteering beyond the norm for so many good causes, touching the lives of far more folks than we will ever know.

As Robert Frost wrote in “After Apple Picking,” But I am done with apple picking now. Essence of winter sleep is on the night, The scent of apples: I am drowsing off. 

Dad never knew an apple that wasn’t a friend nor worthy of pressing into cider. Many friends and family assisted with cider making over the years.

He was preceded in death by his wife of 60 years, Louise Fowlkes Kegley. He was also preceded in death by his brothers, James Kegley and Fred Kegley of Wytheville.

He is survived by four children, George Andrew “Andy” Kegley, Jr. (Nan) of Wytheville, Mary Louise Kegley “Sissy” of Roanoke, Robert Kegley (Melissa) of Wytheville, and Richard Kegley (Kristy) of Atlanta; nine grandchildren, Calder Kegley (Megan) of Charlottesville, Grace Kegley of Charlottesville, Reed Kegley of Little Rock, Arkansas, Nathan Guerrero (Francesca) of Arlington, Maria Guerrero of Porto, Portugal, Emma Thomas (Gavin) of Philadelphia, Amy Fleming (Scott) of Suffolk, and Katterine and Clara Kegley of Atlanta; seven great-grandchildren, Sawyer and Finley Kegley of Charlottesville, Sara and Hugo Guerrero of Arlington, Hazel Louise Thomas of Philadelphia, and Chase and Beau Fleming of Suffolk; nephews, Rick Kegley of Wytheville and Dan Kegley of Chilhowie; niece, Sally Kegley Little of Gate City; and sister-in-law, Nancy Kegley, of Wytheville.

The Graveside Service will be conducted at 11 a.m. on Monday, February 21, 2022, at St. John’s Lutheran Church Cemetery in Wytheville, Va. A celebration of his life will be held at St. Mark’s Lutheran Church at a later date.

Memorials in George’s name may be made to Blue Ridge Literacy, Roanoke Area Ministries (RAM House), St. Mark’s Lutheran Church, and The Historical Society of Western Virginia. Online condolences may be shared with the family at www.oakeys.com.

Read Less

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REFLECTIONS ON THE CDS PROJECT

Gettin' 'er done!  Idea to make a video and put it on YouTube.  I found a student doc on YouTube yesterday on Pauli Murray from a documentary. Center at Fort Scott, Kansas.  The work is by students, guided by teachers.  

I'm thinking now about the impact that this Duke project has had on me.  For example, Robert Pluma's website.  It begins with a map that serves as the gateway to his project about the Missions of San Antonio.  The map is a dramatic entry.

https://www.robertpluma.com

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March 13, 2022

Just took a "deep dive" relating to Roanoke's history by reading a section from a book on "Google Books" about the city's violent past in the 1890's. Good god!  Lynchings!  I had no idea!

We'er trying to decide how to proceed with the article's final form, since George Kegley has passed.  It looks like someone at the Historical Society in Roanoke will place it in the journal.  

Fear Factor

 I spent all the fucking day on Tuesday in the emergency room.  To start the day off, I had a terrible, bumpy ride to Duke Fitness on the Access Van.   The van was on time but made a stop to pick up someone else, which I  wasn't    expecting.  Tho the person didn't come out to meet the van, the extra wait caused me to miss  my appt. at the gym.  Plus, it was hot and the driver was curt.  Entering the gym, I could see that the class had already started...so I went up to the desk, and was told I looked pale and they wanted to check me out.  One thing led to another and I ended up at the emergency room at Duke Hospital after being checked over by paramedics.  To make a long story short, after an 11 hour wait, I finally saw a doctor who diagnosed "anxiety."  My tests all checked out.  What a wake up call, to take better care of myself and manage the anxiety.

Doing the best I can here....

Food for today:

B'fast:  protein shake with almond milk and banana

Lunch:  guacamole, cucumber juice, apple

Dinner: tofu, broccoli, peach

Here's a Haiku I wrote:

So What

So what if your friend finished his thesis.

That is not your reality.

So what if your support group wanted to

   talk about food,

So what?  That group isn't for you.  There are others.

So what if the van driver made you late for your class?

You may be in a position to buy another car now.  Morgan's is for sale.

Check it out.

So what if Bennet commented on your poem?

Find another group.

So what if writing about your father brings up pain?

Accept it and move on.

The writing is important, and what you have to say is valuable.

So what if you spent a day in the emergency room and it was only

   "anxiety"?

It's ok.  This was a wake up call and the tests were OK.

Accept that life is hard,

Cultivate willingness to do what is effective and pleasurable

FOR YOU! 

I AM WORTH RECOVERY

August 9, 2021

Positivity helps me to recover.  Here are some positive aspects to this day:

1. A good nite's sleep
2. Having a food plan for the day:  b'fast: fruit protein smoothie w/ almond milk.   lunch:  spinach, tomato, carrots,salad with a fried egg on top, coffee & creamer.  dinner:  same as lunch with a cup of yogurt.
3. 30 min on exercise bike + a 15 min. walk
4. my mantra for the day:  " good enough "
5. recovery friend in Seattle, Holly
6. recovery friend in MI, Dan
7. Kegels
8. Cancelling my plans to go to a writing group b/c I would have had to Rush.
9. Face time with family in MA...makes me want to do a cartwheel!
10. A plan to avoid the black hole of the internet tonight.
11. cussin'
12. appt. w. therapist 2 morrow
13. 20 breath meditation
14. ripping out some pages of the book Mindful Diet b/c it's too damn long and needs to focus more on "how to do it" rather than negative experiences from other people
15. my beautiful, kind, adorable granddaughters and their amazing parents.
16. Maude's birthday is Sept. 18
17. Maude is like a goodwill ambassador to the world!
18. cleaned part of my carpet which was a PIA but I'm doing it in small parts
19. a dishwasher full of clean dishes.
20. eating small amounts

August 10, 2021

Rolling along.  91 degrees outside.makes me feel bushwhacked ....

Walked up to the gym, got on the stationary bike for 5 min.  that's all I could take.   I walked back to the apt. slowly b/c it was so bloody hot.  had a salad of garbanzo beans, spinach, prunes and must have eaten it too fast.  Too much!  I need to slow down and eat.   Guzzled some Mango/Passion fruit and done for the day.  

Checked the news - most of it bad.  Cuomo resigned, that disgusting pig, for his sexual harrassement of young aides.  He needs to come clean and admit he has a problem.  Even his brother, Chris, told him to resign.  He'll be gone in 14 days and hurray, New York will have its first female governor.

August 11, 2021

Heat advisory today......Staying inside...Thank god for air conditioning.  So I am not hungry today...Just Mango Passion Fruit fruit so far and a mug of coffee.  It's one now and I'm debating on what I should eat...I'll have some soup -- bouillon and veggies.   I should eat.  I don't think I can do the "water fast" b/c it makes me feel deprived.  

Feeling relaxed after listening to the "Skillful Podcast" from San Francisco.  Excellent episode on "Tip", calming the emotional mind,   I also love "20 breaths" as laid out in the Mindful Diet book.Duke has a mindful meet-up and you have to register 15 min. before.  I love self-soothing, burning incense and a candle, putting my hand over my heart.  Comforting "GWEN".  

I'm applying for a job and had to stop b/c I found listing my work as a school librarian where I was bullied unmercifully so stressful.  The prin. even came in the school library one morning after I'd applied for Worker's Comp bc I injured my knee due to some fucking administrator using the library to store old rotting textbooks.  There must have been a few thousand of them.  This was strenuous but thank god for school janitors.  

The prin. had ordered me to get rid of them.  How about asking the jerk who put them there?  I hate the way administrators abuse facilities and even teachers.  So the prin. found out I was applying for worker's comp (I had put the forms on his desk, I guess), comes into the library one day, locks the door behind him, sits down and asks if I'm applying for WC. It was really intimating.  Nothing ever happened to the forms on his desk.  I still don't understand why a prin. would object to an employee taking Workers' Comp. Except that he thought it would make him look bad.  

That job was the pits and I ended up leaving.  Should have reported it to the board...maybe I still can.  He would also keep me after school, control me, and one time he stood over me and shook his finger in my face saying "don't ever do that to me again."  Do what?  Want control over my workspace?  I did "almost" tell the board about what happened but I feared retaliation.  I hope this man is no longer in the school system.  But I think HR moved him believe it or not, a job in HR!!!  On top of the lousy work environment, I had an hour's drive to and from work.  I wonder what happed to David Jones?

The good about today:  relaxing, using DBT skills to deal with painful memories, listening to a mindful session.  Loving myself for all I've accomplished.

August 12, 2021

Heat advisory today so I stayed inside...it's rough out there!  I exercised inside:  PT, stretching with Thera bands, light weights, step ups of 3 sets (yay me!), Kegels and for relaxation:  20 breaths, using the silent timer, limiting time on the net, ball roll ups...getting ready for appt w/ doc 2morrow, hopefully via teleconference...will need to call and set this up tomorrow morning around 8 am after I hear back from doc.

Good talk w/ Doug today, he does so much good for poetry in the community...he's sees his orthopedic doc tomorrow at Emerge (dr. is Silver).  Offered to let Doug borrow my polar unit if dr. approves...he is being awfully brave but is understandably upset due to not getting meds by the doc. on Wed.

Food:  protein yogurt, coffee, lunch was roasted veggies and avocado, dinner will be more veggies w/ avocado and tempeh.  Cooking my first tempeh now.  I'll have an apple after I eat and try to do a few sit-ups or abdominals...I need to do the ones I learned at duke  as they are not as strenuous as the regular kind.  Had a real good day today...will meditate before before bed and make a gratitude list.

gratitude for today:  deep breaths, tidying up a bit but not stressing myself out, a cozy bed to jump in, turning off noise, exercising in the apt. b/c it's so hot outside, helping someone, praying for someone, taking care of me, healthy food

fun:  watching the Behavior Panel rip Cuomo.

done

August 13, 2021

Another scorcher.  Even MA is roasting.  Bad idea to watch The Behavior Panel on Cuomo...kind of led to a descent into the black hole of the internet and over eating.

Get the measuring cups out!!!!  Avoid tempeh!!!  Tempeh is fermented and so hard on my digestive system.

10 good things

1. Learning about Nantucket...it's the coolest place in MA today at 84 degrees
2. Scrimshaw:  see the article about nantucket and whalers.
3. re-scheduled my doctor appt.
4. headed for the gym this afternoon
5. I realized I need to time off the internet.
6. the heat will let up
7. listening to Favre
8. having great health care
9. cuzin Andy
10. Roanoke trip in my future
11. showers!
12. the Yale course...YES!

August 15, 2021. -- Sunday

Some great things about today:  church, Franklin was driving home from the mountains after performing a wedding -- someone he had known since she was born; more or less resting today; trying to arrange a trip to see Chris; a wonderful talk w/ cuzin Andy.  He is so jovial, and makes me laugh.  I've started to open up to family a little more.  God knows I need the support.

Also spoke w. Sofia about my descent into binge eating the other night.  This illness is absolute hell.  Grateful for bro, Andy, Erin, Ms. T and Sofia.  We spoke about OA and DBT, very helpful...also grateful for my pal Holly in Seattle.  We traded photos.

April 16, 2021 -- Monday

Some things I did right:  stuck to my food plan, meditated, Erin came over which is always delightful, saw my neighbor Marisha, a poet and clinician, 15 min. of exercise, using imagery to relax (trees in our complex -- spiny greeks which I love); nice chat with mgr of complex.

Made an app to visit duke fitness tomorrow, soooo grateful for the access can so I don't have to hassle with getting gas.  Erin drove me to DSW to get a refund on my shoes.  Love that girl.

April 18, 2021

First -- some gratitude:

1.  got to my OA mtg. this morning

2.  Michelle Mossberger

3.  Silver Sneakers

4.  duke health and fitness

5.  mindfullness

6.  prayer 

7.  said good morning to God

8.  Sharon Shofhi

9.  Erin Payne 

10.  Great docs

11. Duke Health

12. Deep Breaths

13.  friend Holley in Seattle

14.  20 breaths

15.  the book f*ck anxiety

16.  Improve:  (image) Margot's artwork from age 3.  (meaning) What my body means to me:  my body is a temple; (prayer) God, grant me the courage to change the things I can. Amen; (relaxation) listened to a dharma talk for 30 min. (encouragement) keep going back; a day at a time; this too shall pass

17.  I avoided the black hole of the internet 

18.  Emailed Sofia re; an appt. on Fri.

19.  I was willing to be uncomfortable

Food for today

B:  b'fast, steel cut oats, prunes, almond milk

L:  lunch, big plate of mixed beans, hummus, oil and apple vinegar

D:  dinner, same as lunch+immunization juice, protein bar, coffee, apple

August 22, 2021

Was just enjoying a relaxing Sunday afternoon watching the rain, listening to the wind until it all ended suddenly and the sun was out, shining brightly as ever.  There is something so peaceful and soothing about a summer rain on a hot summer day and we've had a lot of the latter and so little of the former.  There was even some distant thunder in the distance.

Got to church this morning via Zoom, which was marvelous.  Picked up "Barefoot to Avalon" which I started several years ago and never finished.  Fantastic conversation with Lee yesterday.  She cracks me up!  I must send her Carpool Karaoke with Paul McCartney.  Last night we sang show tunes.  Wow!  Speaking of show tunes, last night I watched Oklahoma.  What a vibrant slice of American history.

Chillin' today.  Doubt if I'll make it to the gym today, unless I go tonight.  Sofia will call shortly.

Stayed up till 3a.m. watching. the film and reading about it. 

August 29, 2021

Thank God!  August is almost over!!!  Welcome to hell.  Temps in the mid-90's.  Longest stretch of a heat wave I've ever experienced.  Just drains the body!!!

I started Zoom a few days ago...I'm hopping mad.   Don' know why, maybe because I'm trying to change and off the 15 pounds that have been clinging to my body since I had my last knee replacement 4 years ago.  That was kind of traumatizing.....I'm still mad about the mis-diagnosis.  Probably just a waste of energy.  And angry with myself for so many "mess-ups"....The extra pounds seemed GLUED to me.  Very discouraged.  I joined Noom several days ago.  Mad as hell b/c I wanna change and I hate having a fat belly!!!!  HATE IT!!

Time for some gratitude before I pop.

The Heron Clan group was really special today.  Anne McAlaster was there and she has a way with poems about nature.  I read some poems by Roberson Jeffers, one of my favorites.  I want to flee, run away, probably the worst thing I could do.  So I'll stay , stay and write more poetry.

I am grateful for what is NOT a problem.  I don't have to use a walker. My ticker is good, my tests all checked out.  I am determined.  I have a whole heck of a lot of faith.  Plus I'm a bad ass....Bad assery is a good thing.  I have a great church.  I don't    have to put up with jerks and now I let one free.  I don't have to put up with someone who is belligerant, so I let'er go.  I re-discovered Oklahoma -- love it...should join a choir!!!!  I have a great friend, Lee, up in New York...what a lovely soul.

I still have to log my last meal for the day on Noom...I'm following the Acronym: IMPROVE.

Image:  Carmel; N.C. Wyeth's painting about the coming of autumn to Brandywine.   The NC Museum of Art owns it.

What's good about today:

reading my book under the crepe myrtle tree, persevering,  appreciating the "nature poets" like Anne McAlister and that guy from Kentucky, oh heck, what's his name?

September 3, 2021

Oh, hell, what an awful week!!!!  My former friend harassed me & sent out another long email this week.  It left me shaken.  That makes the second one!!!  Funny thing is, she's a professional psychologist, not mine, thank God.  We both go to Overeaters Anonymous meetings and I met her 7 years ago in in Carrboro.  I was doing well with the compulsive overeating then.  I'd been maintaining about a 10 pound weight loss on my small frame, which felt great.  I had a sponsor, emailed her my food regularly, went to meetings.  Well, one night Steevie and I were chatting after the meeting that night.  Sometimes we liked to eat in the small cafe across from the church.  That was a nice meeting.  I remember one night Steevie told me about a binge she had had with sugar, cookies, or something....I was kind of shocked and told her a story I'd read in the recovery book called "Compulsive Overeaters."  There was a passage that referred to the body as a holy place, and why would you want to put junk food into "your temple."

I did not feel triggered by what Steevie had told me.  I was strong in my recovery then.  But I sure was puzzled by how being in OA, she could overeat like that.

Guess I should have considered that a red flag.  

Fast forward a few years, and my knee replacement from 2 years before began to give me problems. Only the doctors office here, wouldn't see me....for about 2 months.  When I finally got in I saw the PA who called this a "soft tissue injury," and told me I needed to apply cold and keep my leg up.  There was pain also.  God, what a terrible time!  

Not long after, I went to a Writers' Conference.  The next morning I felt pain and swelling in my left knee.  Very unusual.  I meditated for about 30 min and put my leg up on a pillow, and after a while, called my insurance company.  They listened to my symptoms and suggested I go to the ER.  Another writer took me over there as I couldn't drive due to the pain.  When we got there, I cried and cried b/c I knew this would interfere with my plans to go to the Pilobolus workshop up in Connecticut.  Damn!  

The hospital was a short distance away, (in that town where the famous golf course is --- where the Masters are held.  Beautiful little hospital.  A doctor soon came in and I was hooked up to some stuff.  EKG,maybe/. The doc came in and listened to my sad story.  He thought I had a clot in my knee.  Arrangements were made for me to have, let's see, what was it???  Can't remember....  A sonogram?  Ultrasound?  Someone had to come in from Raleigh and do it. I was told to rest the knee and use ice and elevation, no clot, thank goodness.

About 2 months later, I was able to see the doc, only I saw the PA.  He diagnosed a stress injury and I had to rest and use ice, and elevate.  I kept having pain, so I got over to the doc's office again.  Same diagnosis.  I was calling the office quite a bit, and was finally told, "don't call us."

 

Another month or so, I had a follow up appt with the doc (PA) -- I was still having pain, and he referred me for a blood test and lo and behold, turns out there was an infection in the damn implant.  Finally saw the surgeon (At Last), and he scheduled surgery for 2 months out.  He said I'd do great.  Very reassuring.  And I was glad to have 2 months to prepare.  Only 2 WEEKS later, my knee turned red all the way down to my ankle.  By then, I was hopping mad.  Decided to transfer out to the Duke System and transferred to what is now Emerge.

That night, I got an email from Jamie, telling me they had located a surgeon who could operate in 3 or 4 days, and he wanted to talk to me.  He was so understanding (Jiranek).  So knowledgeable.  I finally felt that someone was listening to me.  And he did the surgery, a LONG operation, and I was placed on antibiotics.  For about 6 weeks.  LONG rehab, but it went well.

Unfortunately, my problem with overeating returned.  Food became a comfort.  To this day, I am afraid to do strenuous exercise, like sit-ups. and now I'm 15 pounds overweight and feel awful.  Can't seems to lose any.

Left OA 2 or 3 years ago, then came back and chose a virtual meeting led by my old friend, Steevie.  Found a therapist and realized that sure enough, I had the ED of over/binge eating....using food to cope.  Actually, I started attending Steevie's meeting this year, during the second year of the Pandemic.  At first, I enjoyed it...then they decided it was ok to mention food...after a while I dropped out as the meeting was very triggering.  Steevie liked to call me out for one thing or another.  She would ask me things like "how does that relate to the topic" and things like that.  God, I was uncomfortable with that.  And I hated the idea that it was ok to talk about food.  I was the only one in the group, who didn't want to do that, however, and I stopped going to those meetings.

Attendance started dropping off and Steevie called me and told me she missed my presence.  Can't remember how I responded to that.

Then Steevie sent out an email to the ENTIRE group.  Saying she hoped they didn't have to close the group.  Other people emailed back saying they hoped the group would continue.  I think 2 people mentioned how they couldn't return for one reason or another. I decided to state how I felt about allowing food to be mentioned, and how awkward it felt to be "called out" by a group leader (didn't mention Steevie's name tho.)

That caused fallout between Steevie and me.  She went ballistic, accusing me of all sorts of things:  like being manipulative, for example.  Or talking too much, but that was before I knew about the 3 min. time limit.

Steevie sent me 2 LONG emails...reading them was kind of like being beaten with a battering ram...A few days ago, the last one did trigger some overeating (protein bars....yuck).

So I feel awful and need to block Steevie so she won't EVER email me again.  I'm back in the illness and need so BADLY to stop overeating.  Today is a little better, thanks to my poetry group, and getting support from OA and church friends.  So grateful for them!

Yep, I have the ED of overeating.  Huge problem for me.  Shorts don't fit, I'm grouchy b/c of all the caffeine I'm drinking.  I feel clumsy.  This WILL get better.  I am confident!!!

September 18, 2021

AVOIDING JUDGEMENT 

Mistakes happen.  Judging oneself makes things worse.  I once blew a gasket over brushing the side of my car at the banks drive thru.  My son was with me.  I lost my temper big time and let loose and string of expletives, not such good role modeling.  Instead I could have stopped, looked at the damage, mistakes happen.  Don;t blame myself or the bank but mention what happened to the mgr...maybe there WASN'T enough room for a car to pass thru.  

Or, I've got a lot of organizing and cleaning to do.  Rather than cussin' and complaining, I will acknowledge the situation and be gentle with myself while straightening.  And not call myself a slob...my brother actually used that label earlier this year...Those remarks are hard to forget.

Best to observe:  I need to clean the kitchen...start by putting dirty dishes in the dishwasher and go from there...

THE FOOD THING

God gave me a brain...I can plan!

Brunch:  spinach soup and chicken broth, fruit

September 28, 2021

September is almost over...I can already relax and breathe easier.  Went easy on the food today:

Brunch:  2 eggs scrambled w/ mushrooms, green tea

Dinner:  stuffing using bone broth as the liquid, mushrooms, some golden raisins

fun stuff:  went to our gym again for 30 min on ex. bike, took a 5 k walk, had 2 c. coffee w/ peppermint creamer --- yum!!!!  I did sweat a lot today, which is a good thing.

Had an awesome PacSun meeting this morning.  So glad I found that meeting.  There was another East Coaster there, S. from Virginia...I hope to do my 10th step with her, maybe ask if she could be an OA buddy...also called Winnie in Ohio.  I so enjoy outreach calls!

Here is my gratitude for September:

1.  Holly

2.  Lee

3.  brother John

4.  my "grand-girls"

5.  Ted & Sharon

6.  Having dinner at a cafe with my neighbor last night -- girls' night out.  Fun!

7.  Autumn's baptism on Sunday

8.  Progress

9.  A comfy bed.

10. I got out of my contract with Duke Fitness 

11. Fine time at the Senior Center last week.

12. taking ODAT

13. Sofia

14. one thing at a time

15. I haven't fallen

16. possibility of duke course

17. not owning a car

18. talks w/ John

19. the Zondervan Bible dictionary on "clay"

20. taking a clay class

21. the tv in the gym works now.

22. getting out of my duke fitness contract

23. didn't overeat today

24. being flexible

25. the County library

26. forests

27. Falls Lake

28. Franklin

29. Holly

30. Duke Medicine

31. a comfortable bed

32. yummy dinner

33. kegals

34. physical therapists

35. Lamani

36. the boxer who lives up the lane (Sadie)

37. getting lots of exercise lately

38. Lyft

39. deep breaths

40. rain sounds at night

41. not getting covid

42. feeling protected

43. when Autumn mentioned  how her dad would talk w her about Jesus.

44. beautiful falls lake

October 17, 2021

I hate this illness.  I just wanna eat.  But I'm not gonna.

Time for some gratitude.  This time, 100 things.

1.  autumn's baptism by the late

2.  going back to sleep this morning

3.  watched a really great documentary on chaplains during WW2, last night.

4. I haven't fallen

5. getting a massage tomorrow

6. listening to a book on Oswald Boelcke, ww1 flying ace

7. achy today so I'm resting

8. don't even feel like keyboarding

9.spoke w/ lee yesterday

10. massage tomorrow

11. got some stretches done

12. my bro

13. it's Sunday, so I don't have to work!

14. being retired

15. volunteering

16. finished the book on Boelcke and today is the 105th anniversary of his death

17. I have a new keyboard which should make typing easier!

18.

October 31.2021

Positive action:  These OA recovery meetings can be SO NEGATIVE!!!  I just need POSITIVITY!!!  NEGATIVITY IS FUCKING TRIGGERING!!!

Solution:  Mindfulness!!!!!

AVOID COFFEE AND ALCOHOL..,.

PLAN MY FOOD ---MAKE A MENU

JOIN THE RECOVERY GROUP!!!

================================================

Jan 22, 2022

Thich Naht Hahn died yesterday.  I watched a YouTube film of him from the early 80's at Berkeley that was so very touching.  A memorial service will be held for him at 9 pm tonight at Plum Village.  Thay was 95 when he passed.

Excellent meeting on "Chats in the Living Room" this morning!!!