Fear Factor

 I spent all the fucking day on Tuesday in the emergency room.  To start the day off, I had a terrible, bumpy ride to Duke Fitness on the Access Van.   The van was on time but made a stop to pick up someone else, which I  wasn't    expecting.  Tho the person didn't come out to meet the van, the extra wait caused me to miss  my appt. at the gym.  Plus, it was hot and the driver was curt.  Entering the gym, I could see that the class had already started...so I went up to the desk, and was told I looked pale and they wanted to check me out.  One thing led to another and I ended up at the emergency room at Duke Hospital after being checked over by paramedics.  To make a long story short, after an 11 hour wait, I finally saw a doctor who diagnosed "anxiety."  My tests all checked out.  What a wake up call, to take better care of myself and manage the anxiety.

Doing the best I can here....

Food for today:

B'fast:  protein shake with almond milk and banana

Lunch:  guacamole, cucumber juice, apple

Dinner: tofu, broccoli, peach

Here's a Haiku I wrote:

So What

So what if your friend finished his thesis.

That is not your reality.

So what if your support group wanted to

   talk about food,

So what?  That group isn't for you.  There are others.

So what if the van driver made you late for your class?

You may be in a position to buy another car now.  Morgan's is for sale.

Check it out.

So what if Bennet commented on your poem?

Find another group.

So what if writing about your father brings up pain?

Accept it and move on.

The writing is important, and what you have to say is valuable.

So what if you spent a day in the emergency room and it was only

   "anxiety"?

It's ok.  This was a wake up call and the tests were OK.

Accept that life is hard,

Cultivate willingness to do what is effective and pleasurable

FOR YOU!