Thursday, May 3, 2018

PILOBOLUS OR BUST

     I've loved the dance group Pilobolus since 1978.  I lived in Virginia then and drove and down to Duke for a workshop.  Near the Chapel, there was a huge banner hanging across Page Auditorium.  Pilobolus performed Untitled, as I recall, and there was one part with the dancers nude. distinctly remember Alison Chase (the only woman) in the group.  That night, I bought a book on the dance company, which I had for decades, then lost, and had to buy another at the ADF Festival Shop a few years ago.

     I didn't see Pilobolus perform again until 2012, when I traveled to Durham from Eastern North Carolina.  Again, I was hooked!  Having become a bit weary of small town living, I made the move to Durham in 2014.

     I found out that Pilobolus gives workshops every summer and decided to attend one last summer.  Alas, I had to have urgent knee surgery in July, 2017, which knocked me out for the rest of the year.  I pretty much had to learn to walk again, and was on anti-biotics for 2 months.

     Well, I decided to try and attend the workshop again and applied for a scholarship, never dreaming I'd receive one.  I assumed that folks younger than me, promising dancers, perhaps, would be the most likely recipiants.  Imagine my delight when I actually got one!  It will be in July, so I'm starting to get ready.

   According to the company's website, the workshop is: "Open to anyone from non-dancers to experienced performers.  The workshop is designed to build community and reawaken the senses. Sessions are playful, group-driven, physically challenging, and fun. Participants connect through touch, sight, and sound, using their senses to improve communication. Workshops include daily improvisation and collaborative creation. The week culminates in a showing for invited guests and friends. 


(from the Pilobolus website)  "...get your creative juices flowing, challenge your body and your mind, and open up a world of collaborative and movement-based possibilities. Pilobolus’s founders were not dancers – they were curious and interested movers. Our workshops underline the founders’ belief:  that a drive to dance and create is ingrained in our DNA. Whether you train regularly, haven't taken a class in 20 years, or have never danced a step, there is a place for you in our Summer Workshop Series..." 


"Come discover, explore, and share an experience like no other."

     Well, this is a pretty compelling announcement!

============================================

     I've started planning for the workshop.  Looks like meals won't be served.  There's a kitchen in the living quarters, closest hospital is in Waterbury, CT, and a grocery store nearby.

     For the past month or so, I've been on a vegan food plan.  Hope I can keep this up while I'm gone!

      The physical training part has started also.  I love machines and use a treadmill and elliptical regularly at the gym at my apt.  I visited my physical therapist last week and got a print out of suggestions.  She suggests to track my endurance so as not to get sore.  Rest for a few minutes between periods on the bike, t/mill and elliptical.

June 22

     Met with my dance teacher, Shaleigh Fairbanks a few days ago
and took her ballet class yesterday.  Muscles a bit sore today but not to worry.  At the Y now for deep water aerobics and jogging in the water for 30 min.  Shaleigh suggests moving only for pleasure.  But I'm not sure what to do on days like today when I'm in pain.  Move anyway, that's the thing.  Find "pleasure in the pain" (an idea borrowed from Ohad Naharin).   Qi Gong, morning stretches, PT for today.  Will attempt the t'mill and elliptical but only if it doesn't hurt.  Glad I don't have to drive anywhere...cancelled the 2 appointments I had today...how to encourage myself:  "Movement is the movement;"  be steady; move mindfully; cast aside fear.

June 23

       Drove down to DPAC this week-end planning to help with the merch table but it turned out they weren't setting it up since the ADF staff were so busy overseeing the party after the Pilobolus performance.  So I was able to see the marvelous children's matinee at 1.  My little friends, Amber and Evelyn, chose to go water sliding instead.  As I entered the theatre, i notice the dancers warming up, and said hi to Krystal Butler as I took my place on the first row.  I was able to say hi to Heather Favretto also.  So fun to see these two again; they're headed to Jacob's Pillow this week but maybe they will be in CT during the workshop, (or they may be touring.)

The Children's Matinee was great.  Beforehand, kids from the ADF Shadowland Camp put on a brief show which was delightful.  Louis Gaspard (Jodee's husband and a former Pilobolus dancer) was the director for that.  I always love the "bike ride" and how the kids transform their bodies into a flower.

Pilobolus' show was special,  as always.  The dancers turned their bodies into trees and birds in a four part dance.

June 25

Pain in my joints this morning.  Blistering hot yesterday.  Drove over to Reynolds after church for the ADF performance -- all that hot pavement!  Did get a parking place in front of the venue tho, and was told pkg is free on Sundays.  Grabbed some Clif bars before the 2 pm show and a cherry vanilla pepsi -- cheap thrills for the moment but bad choices.
This morning my back, hands and especially knees hurt.  Climbed up 4 flights of stairs in heels yesterday-- arghhh!  Those were the shoes I wore in Paris sometimes.  That was 6 years ago.  But oh, Paris!!!

     ...the last act of the ADF "Homecoming" show was wonderful.  The three men -- with lyrical, witty, precise movements with meaning.  Loved it!  Didn't care for the first performance.  In fact, didn't like anything about it...the costume of the guy, his hairy legs, large body, his movements, the music....just didn't care for it.  Makes me sound like a bitch, i know...for some reason the performance was just a big turn off for me.  Weird.  I did appreciate that the artist attended VCU, however.  The next performance was ok, a little strange, but it ended cleverly with the group singing a song from Rent...can't remember the title...one thousand, 1500, minutes....will have to check.   Will have to look up the info on that last performance that had so much precision and meaning.   It just left me feeling in a wonderful mood.  In fact, the couple I walked out with agreed.  (So sweet the way he held her hand as they walked down the steps; and her hair was white, pink, and purple).

     I have pain today, probably from the Clif bars which are loaded with sugar, as was the Cherry Vanilla Pepsi...but ta-da, it's NOT HOT today.  Yay!  Resting and cancelling my appts.  Keep getting a text from someone about a job -- started Saturday.  I hate texts but will check into it when i feel like it.

     Here's something:  Hartford, CT has BOTH the Stowe Museum and the Twain House.  Thinking about driving up to Hartford then to Washington.  Will have to break every hour.  Maybe break it up into 2 trips and overnight somewhere.  But, is my car up to it?  Am I up to it?  Tomorrow, go down to Payne's and have Nate look over my car and give me the low down.  Call GEICO, AAA for maps.  Call the library in Washington and Hartford, CT.

Day almost over, still pain, but this video with MM singing Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend really cheered me up :-)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbf_o5NF9vU. .
I did get in a 30 min. walk but other than that and ADL, that was all the exercise I got in today.

Must, must avoid sugar from here on out.  Certain this is why my body aches today.  The Clif bars, pure garbage due to all the sugar.   But -- sooooo good!

Spoke with my son who is moving into a different house soon, on the same street he lives on now.  Big stress for him.  The family will be in a hotel for a week.  He has just about talked me out of driving to CT. Reflecting on that, I would be worn out after the long drive.  Will look into the train.

June 30, 2018

Two days with no sugar or caffeine!  That is a start.  Ballet class yesterday...having a good sore today.  Just took a walk up to the gazebo for stretches; beautiful to face the woods and have a little work- out...remembering ShaLeigh's advice to concentrate on moving for pleasure.  

Also met a neighbor from up the hill, Erica, apt. 402.  Great chat and met her friends Diego and Emma, all Tarheels.  Or is it Tar Heels?  Tried to talk them out of their trip to Busche Gardens and head up to the National Seashore in Maryland instead...but they would need a week.

It's going to be hot today!  Willing to start my vegan way of life but still wondering how I'll ever be able to give up soft shell crab.  Today, muesli for breakfast, matcha tea -- for lunch:  cup of rice, cup of zucchini, turmeric, moroccan sauce,  apple -- dinner:  cauliflower "potato salad", fruit.  Nice.

July 2, 2018

     I'm having some issues with compulsive overeating and wake up the next morning feeling awful.  Clogged, cranky, confused.  This has got to stop.  The book I'm reading, Never Binge Again, has been helpful.  The author, a psychotherapist, used to eat compulsively and was very overweight.  Like Smart Recovery, an evidence based program, he talks about the Problem of Instant Gratification (P.I.G).  We cannot be "gentle" with this problem.  The P.I.G. is not us.  The P.I.G. is a bully!!! It's the addiction that tells us to "go ahead, let's have MORE."
     I'm convinced that less is more.  I live in a country (U.S) that has one of the worst obesity rates in the world.  I could pray until I'm blue in the face, and the urge would still be there.  But I still find value in twelve step programs like Overeaters Anonymous and AA.  However, the founders of AA (Alcoholics Anonymous), knew little about the medical problem of addiction, since these programs sprang up in the 1930's.    Addiction is not a spiritual problem, it's a medical problem.  This is the approach of Smart Recovery, which was started by a Harvard doctor.

     Identifying triggers helps:  like being tired, staying up too late, stress, certain family situations.

     Saw Dr. Sheline 2 weeks ago.  His notes labeled me obese!  Holy shit!  How could that be?  Just because my BMI is 25?  Hummm.  He has some good suggestions, tho.  He's a vegan and enclosed some helpful links.  I don't know if I could give my yogurt, but cheese not a problem.

July 11, 2018

    Leaving next week!  It snuck right up on me.  Definitely not going to drive.  No way!  It would be exhausting!  Luanne of Maupin Travel took care of the ticket and emailed it to me.  Not bad at $198 one way.  I'm traveling one way since my plans are uncertain for after the workshop.  It would be cool to spend a few days in Hartford and see the Harriet Beecher Stowe House and the Mark Train House.

     Hot as blue blazes today and I'm bushed.  Relaxing and taking it easy sounds great.  Emily Kent says it's hot in Washington also.  It's first come first serve with the rooms in the dorm.  Just trusting that everything will turn out ok.

      I'll be ok.  Taking my "walking stick."  Might get some new tights or maybe just stick with the white, loose trousers as long as they are easy to move around in.  I checked Lulu Lemon but their things are WAAAY overpriced.

     One thing is for certain.  I LOVE PILOBOLUS!!!  Damn, I need some energy...for dinner, include a nice spinach salad.

     The Tere O'Connor Dance Company is performing this week-end.  Haven't seen him before but the vid of him on the ADF website is wonderful.

     Last week I watched the vid of Mitzi Gaynor and Bing Crosby dancing to "You're the Top," one of my favorite Cole Porter songs.  "You're the top, you're the Colesium.  You're the top, you're the Louvre Museum..."

July 24, 2018

      Back from the workshop, and I'm feeling totally discombobulated.  Too much floor work (I think) caused my hip to hurt.  Very, very annoying.  Seeing Sarah on Thursday -- she should be able to tell what's going on.  Had to use a wheelchair coming off/getting on the plane today.  The transporters I had were great, however.  Ram, the one from Nepal, was re-assuring and positive.  The one in Raleigh was from Morocco.

     Had a wonderful 3 hour nap, great after a sleepless night last night.  Hated the hotel where I stayed in Hartford.  At over $300 a night, it was really lacking.  It's a recently renovated building from the 1880's by a famous English architect.  The interior left a lot to be desired.  My room had a print of black circles...weird!
Had to get up at 4 a.m. to catch the flight.  Jeez.  Was wheeled off the plane and grateful not to have to walk.

July 25, 2018

"Rage, rage, against the dying of the light..."  I woke up thinking of these lines this morning.  

I think it's natural to rage against aging.  I'm angry and hurt over my hip pain, but it doesn't need to define me.  The body is resilient...I can go forward and move in a way that feels good to me.  NOT to move is the problem.  For now, I have the support of my crutch and the comfort of hot tea and Dylan Thomas.
Seeing my surgeon's PA about this hip pain and hope to see you soon!
Had an amazing week at the Pilobolus workshop.  So many memories!  Love the dancers I worked with.  A bummer, tho to come back in pain and to have difficulty moving.


August 2, 2018

Gratitude from the past week at the Pilobolus workshop
1.  Beautiful surroundings everywhere
2.  the stone wall outside my window
3.  A long chat with Jordan after our performance
4.  the garden at the art building
5.  Grateful i worked hard
6.  Holding 60% of Jordan's weight
7.  a strong back
8.  Watching Kizzy from London warm up on the first morning (a handstand with leg movements)
9.  A break from cell phone usage.
10.  Barbara McAllister's  leadership
11.  Observing how the group incorporated some "Pilobean" moves in their performances.
12.  Mark's wry sense of humor
13.  The convent down the road
14.  the way Conor moved around me
15.  the easy chair from where i watched the others' performances
16.  arriving in Bethlehem safely
17.  conor offering to make me breakfast on the morning when my hip was bothering.
18.  the thought of returning next year, stronger and lighter
19.  the "enchanting" into Bethlehem
20.  My persistence
21.  the music that was played during the workshop
22.  Peter's gift of ointment for the sore muscle in my hip
23.  telling jordan my story
24.  not falling during the workshop
25.  learning the dance is emotional
26.  the memory of the kindness of mark, kizzy, conor, and vivian after my meltdown
27.  having those four dance around me -- graceful moves
28.  knowing it's ok to move slowly
29.  sarah, my wonderful PA
30.  the color green
31.  my trusty walking stick
32. one of our group lying on the floor crying over the image of an amoeba
33.  weight in and weight out
34.  new terms like "flocking"
35.  a desire to discover more about "flocking" === it's a beautiful, spiritual concept.
36.  the spirituality of dance
37.  Moses Pendleton, one of Pilobolous' founders who still lives in the Washington area and has a dance group called Mom
38.  the quality of my group:  Jena, Conor, mark, kizzy, Adi, brighton, adi from boston, meeting joanne kim the day i left 💟
39.  Ram, the "transporter"  who took care of me at the Hartford airport -- he's from Bangladesh
40.  The Moroccan transporter who was there with a wheelchair as soon as I de-boarded the plane in raleigh.
41.  my simple room in the dorm at Woodhall
42.  the lake nearby where we had our picnic
43.  the quiet room at Woodhall
44.  meeting a few of the workers there who live on campus
45.  conor asking if we'd like to go on an adventure
46.  having everyone's email address
47.  knowing about some nice places to stay at the airport in hartford, ct like the hampton inn
48.  a monarch butterfly at the garden at Woodhall
49.  dancing with vivian when i lay down on the floor
50.  robbi burnett, one of the founders of Pilobolous
51.  a role reversal with vivian
52.  learning that it's ok to continue a movement over and over
53.  it's ok to do a "different thing"
54.  amazing improv with sophia, linh, conor, peter ("triangles") -- that i got to see it7
55.  music that was played in class by david darling
56.  "partnering" with Barbara through the garden
57.  Mark's walking exercises, walking within and outside the circle
58.  switching groups is ok
59.  not thinking about "the mistake"
60.  following "whomever"
61.  looking around at other faces and smiling
62.  it's ok to take things down a few notches
63.  keeping my attention on "the other"
64.  the importance of being flexible and not be tied to my idea of how things should be
65.  realizing that dance can be intensely emotional
66.  being "whirled" by conor and mark -- whoa  -did any get a video of that?
67.  "pick up a movement"
68.  Adi telling me about elizabeth streb, a choreography who is also a percussionist.
69.  opening up like a petal
70.  unison
71.  "weight in" and "weight out" exercises
72.  persistence
73.  not falling
74.  or even stumbling
75.  this phrase -- "movement is the movement"
76.  watching mark from new Jersey's dance video
77.  tiger balm to help with the soreness
78.  kizzy's kindness
79.  knowing a lot about the history of ADF
80.  Mark's dog, Charlie
82.  making it through our performance even tho i almost bowed out
83.  a chance to take it easy now
84.  recovery of my muscles
85.   a group photo after the performance
86.  wanting to go down to the NC School of the Arts for student dance performances
87.  loose white slacks to dance in
88.  the enchantment of the setting
89.  tofu from the store
90.  for next year, such
91.  talking and laughing with brighton
92.  getting some good videos
93.  evoking memories from a long time ago
94.  a little girl watching us dance from the open door
95.  Conor Daffney -- find him on FB
96.  talking about famous choreographers around the table
97.  saying hi to renee who also came down to durham
98.  not needing a car
99.  hummingbirds appearing at the window in the dorm
100.  learning that moses cunningham Pendleton (?) one of the founders of Pilobolus, lives near washington
101.  Thinking about my beautiful granddaughters



















    

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